【老雅悦读文选】-妻子的故事

The Wife’s Story

妻子的故事

文/厄休拉·勒古恩  译析/唐伟胜

By Ursula Le Guin

【导读】厄休拉·勒古恩（1929～），美国科幻、奇幻与女性主义和青少年儿童文学作家，著有小说20余部，以及诗集、散文集、游记、文学评论多部。她曾与人合译《道德经》，所获文学奖与荣誉不计其数。由于深受老子与人类学影响，其作品常蕴含道家思想，将世界万物与人类等量齐观。

《妻子的故事》收录在勒古恩1982年的短篇小说集《罗盘玫瑰》（The Compass Rose）中，小说使用第一人称回顾视角，讲述了一只狼如何变成狼人，然后被狼群杀死的故事。小说的故事本身并不新奇（美国文学中有很多关于狼人的故事），但勒古恩别具一格的视角体现了她一贯的叙述风格和哲学思想。

从标题“妻子的故事”开始，勒古恩就一直引导读者认为小说的叙事者“我”是一个已为人妻的人。在“我”的叙述中，丈夫生性善良，“我”和他有一群孩子，一家子过着其乐融融的生活。然而好景不常，“我”慢慢觉察出丈夫的异常举动，包括他身上的气味。这时，“我”提及“月黑之时”和“血液的错”，让读者推断丈夫可能就是传说中的狼人，于是按照阅读常规，读者开始预测变成狼人后的丈夫会对身为人类的妻子产生什么样的影响。然而，随着叙述的展开，我们的期待逐渐变得复杂起来。比如，“我”目睹丈夫变成狼人时，看到丈夫的双脚“变长了，每只脚都变长了，向外伸着，脚趾外伸，跟着脚也变长了，肉乎乎白刹刹的，而且没有毛发。然后，他全身的毛发开始脱落，那情景就像他的毛发在阳光下给煎烤蒸发了一般”。读到这里，读者不禁纳闷，“我”丈夫变成狼人，应该是双脚变得更短，毛发越来越多。在“我”的描述中，读者看到的是一只狼变成人类，而不是人类变成狼。这时，读者才恍然大悟：原来，叙事者“我”并非人类，而是一只狼！认识到这一点后，读者随即调整自己的阅读策略，于是才能理解“我”用“它”（it）来指称变成人类的丈夫，才能理解“我”的痛苦和绝望，以及“我”姐姐及同类为什么如此憎恨并最终杀死了“我”的丈夫。

虽然读者最终理解了故事的走向和结局，但勒古恩的这种叙事方式还是给读者带来了与众不同的阅读体验。在小说大部分的“常态”叙述中，我们读到的是一位充满感情和母爱的叙事者，因此，当我们得知这位叙事者原本是一只狼的时候，我们不仅对整篇小说的构思感到惊异，更能体会到勒古恩这种叙述方式背后隐藏的意蕴：她颠覆了读者之前关于“人”和“狼”的规约观念，通过角度的转换，让我们重新审视人和动物之间的关系。

He was a good husband, a good father. I don’t understand it. I don’t believe in it. I don’t believe that it happened. I saw it happen but it isn’t true. It can’t be. He was always gentle. If you’d have seen him playing with the children, anybody who saw him with the children would have known that there wasn’t any bad in him, not one mean bone. When I first met him he was still living with his mother, over near Spring Lake, and I used to see them together, the mother and the sons, and think that any young fellow that was that nice with his family must be one worth knowing. Then one time when I was walking in the woods I met him by himself coming back from a hunting trip. He hadn’t got any game at all, not so much as a field mouse, but he wasn’t cast down about it. He was just larking along enjoying the morning air. That’s one of the things I first loved about him. He didn’t take things hard, he didn’t grouch and whine when things didn’t go his way. So we got to talking that day. And I guess things moved right along after that, because pretty soon he was over here pretty near all the time. And my sister said — see, my parents had moved out the year before and gone south, leaving us the place — my sister said, kind of teasing but serious, “Well! If he’s going to be here every day and half the night, I guess there isn’t room for me!” And she moved out — just down the way. We’ve always been real close, her and me. That’s the sort of thing doesn’t ever change. I couldn’t ever have got through this bad time without my sis.

他曾是个好丈夫、好父亲。我不明白，我不相信，不相信事情就那样发生了。我目睹了事情的发生，可那不是真的，根本不可能！他一向都是很温柔的。如果你曾见过他和孩子们玩耍，任何见过他和孩子们在一起的人都知道，他一点都不坏，连一根坏骨头也没有。我第一次遇上他时，他还和母亲一起住在春湖附近，我经常看到他们在一起，母亲和一帮儿子，我心想，对家人那么好的小伙肯定值得结识。有一次，我在树林里散步，看见他独自打猎回来。他没有打到任何猎物，就连一只田鼠也没有，但他一点也不沮丧。他一路嬉戏，享受着清晨的空气。我首先爱上他的就是这一点。他不会纠结，事不遂愿时也不牢骚抱怨。就这样，那天我们开始说起话来。之后我觉得一切水到渠成了，因为不久后他就老在我们周围晃悠。我姐——哦，我父母一年前就搬走，去了南方，把这地方留给我俩——我姐半开玩笑半认真地说：“好啦！如果他每天都来这儿待到大半夜的话，我看这地方就没有我的份喽！”很快她真的搬出去了——离这儿不远的地方。我们一直都非常亲近，她和我。这情形永远都不会改变。要不是老姐，我根本熬不过眼下这段难捱的日子。

[2]Well, so he come to live here. And all I can say is, it was the happy year of my life. He was just purely good to me. A hard worker and never lazy, and so big and fine-looking. Everybody looked up to him, you know, young as he was. Lodge Meeting nights, more and more often they had him to lead the singing. He had such a beautiful voice, and he’d lead off strong, and the others following and joining in, high voices and low. It brings the shivers on me now to think of it, hearing it, nights when I’d stayed home from meeting when the children was babies — the singing coming up through the trees there, and the moonlight, summer nights, the full moon shining. I’ll never hear anything so beautiful. I’ll never know a joy like that again.

[2] 于是，他就过来住了。不得不说，那是我人生中幸福的一年。他是全心全意地对我好。他干起活来很卖力，从不偷懒，而且块头很大，长相英俊。真的，虽然他年纪不大，可人人都敬他三分。居处集会之夜，他们越来越多地让他领唱。他的声音那么动听，领唱那么有劲，大家都跟着他高高低低地唱起来。直到现在，只要想起这些，我都禁不住全身颤抖，仿佛又回到那些夜晚——那时孩子们还小，我留在家里，没去参加集会——听见那歌声穿越树林，还有那月色、夏夜、皎洁的圆月！我再也不会听到如此美妙的声音，再也不会拥有那样的欢乐了！

[3]It was the moon, that’s what they say. It’s the moon’s fault, and the blood. It was in his father’s blood. I never knew his father, and now I wonder what become of him. He was from up Whitewater way, and had no kin around here. I always thought he went back there, but now I don’t know. There was some talk about him, tales, that come out after what happened to my husband. It’s something runs in the blood, they say, and it may never come out, but if it does, it’s the change of the moon that does it. Always it happens in the dark of the moon. When everybody’s home and asleep. Something comes over the one that’s got the curse in his blood, they say, and he gets up because he can’t sleep, and goes out into the glaring sun, and goes off all alone — drawn to find those like him. 

[3]是月亮，他们说，是月亮和血液的错。在他父亲的血液中就有了。我从来不了解他父亲，而现在我想知道他出什么事了。他来自白水河道上游，在这附近无亲无故。我一直以为他回到了那里，但现在我不敢肯定了。我丈夫出事之后，就出现了一些关于他的风言风语。他们说，是血液里流淌着的某种东西，那东西可能永远都不会显露，一旦显露，那就是月亮的盈亏让它显露的，通常发生在月黑时分，那时大家都回家睡着了。他们说，谁的血液受到诅咒，那东西就会附在谁身上，让他睡不着，他便会起床，走到耀眼的太阳下，独自离开，被牵引着去寻找同类。

[4]And it may be so, because my husband would do that. I’d half rouse and say, “Where you going to?” and he’d say, “Oh, hunting, be back this evening,” and it wasn’t like him, even his voice was different. But I’d be so sleepy, and not wanting to wake the kids, and he was so good and responsible, it was no call of mine to go asking “Why?” and “Where?” and all like that. 

[4] 也许真是这样，因为我丈夫就是。我会半起身问他：“你要去哪里？”他总会回答：“哦，打猎，晚上就回来。”这不像他，甚至连他的声音也变了。但是由于我太困，也不想吵醒孩子，他又是那么好，那么有责任感，我就没有必要追问“为什么？”“去哪里？”之类的问题了。

[5]So it happened that way maybe three times or four. He’d come back late and worn out, and pretty near cross for one so sweet-tempered — not wanting to talk about it. I figured everybody got to bust out now and then, and nagging never helped anything. But it did begin to worry me. Not so much that he went, but that he come back so tired and strange. Even, he smelled strange. It made my hair stand up on end. I could not endure it and I said, “What is that — those smells on you? All over you!” And he said, “I don’t know,” real short, and made like he was sleeping. But he went down when he thought I wasn’t noticing, and washed and washed himself. But those smells stayed in his hair, and in our bed, for days. 

[5] 事情就这样发生了大概三四次。他每次回来都很晚，而且疲惫不堪，他本来脾气很好，现在却面带愠色——不愿说话。我想每个人都有偶尔出格的时候，唠唠叨叨毫无用处。但这事的确开始让我不安了，更让我担心的并不是他的离开，而是他回来时显得那样疲倦，那样奇怪。甚至他身上的味道都是怪怪的。这让我感到毛骨悚然。终于我忍无可忍了，说道：“你身上那——那是什么味儿？满身都是！”他说：“我不知道。”十分简短，让人觉得他是睡着了。但是当他以为我没注意时，他下去反复清洗自己的身子。可那些气味依然留在他头发里，留在我们床上，几天都散不去。

[6]And then the awful thing. I don’t find it easy to tell about this. I want to cry when I have to bring it to my mind. Our youngest, the little one, my baby, she turned from her father. Just overnight. He come in and she got scared-looking, stiff, with her eyes wide, and then she begun to cry and try to hide behind me. She didn’t yet talk plain but she was saying over and over, “Make it go away! Make it go away!”

[6] 接着发生了可怕的事情。对我来说，讲这事并不容易，每当我不得不回忆这事的时候我都想哭。我们最小的孩子，小不点儿、小乖乖，突然间讨厌起她爸爸来了。他进屋时，她一脸惊愕，僵在那里，眼睛瞪得大大的，然后就开始哭，想躲到我身后。她本来连话都说不清，这会儿却一个劲儿地说：“让它滚开！让它滚开！”

[7]The look in his eyes; just for one moment, when he heard that. That’s what I don’t want ever to remember. That’s what I can’t forget. The look in his eyes baking at his own child.

I said to the child, “Shame on you, what’s got into you!” — scolding, but keeping her right up close to me at the same time, because I was frightened too. Frightened to shaking.

[7]听到孩子的话时，他流露出的眼神，虽然只是一瞬间，却是我永远都不愿记住、但也永远忘不了的，他那恶狠狠瞪着自己孩子的眼神。

我对孩子说：“真不像话，你怎么回事！”我一边骂着孩子，一边却让她紧紧地贴着我，因为我也很害怕，怕得发抖。

[8]He looked away then and said something like, “Guess she just waked up dreaming,” and passed it off that way. Or tried to. And so did I. And I got real mad with my baby when she kept on acting crazy scared of her own dad. But she couldn’t help it and I couldn’t change it.

He kept away that whole day. Because he knew, I guess. It was just beginning dark of the moon.

[8] 他移开视线，说了一句：“她大概是做噩梦时醒来的吧。”就这么掩饰了过去，或者说，他想这样掩饰过去，我也想这样。孩子见到自己爸爸依然害怕得要命，我对她真的很生气，但她就是无法控制自己，我也束手无策。

那一整天他都离躲着我们。我猜，那是因为他明白，月亮就要开始变黑了。

[9]It was hot and close inside, and dark, and we’d all been asleep some while, when something woke me up. He wasn’t there beside me. I heard a little stir in the passage, when I listened. So I got up, because I could bear it no longer. I went out into the passage, and it was light there, hard sunlight coming in from the door. And I saw him standing just outside, in the tall grass by the entrance. His head was hanging. Presently he sat down, like he felt weary, and looked down at his feet. I held still, inside, and watched — I didn’t know what for.

[9] 屋内又热又闷，没有光亮。我们都睡下很久了，突然什么东西吵醒了我。他不在我旁边。我竖起耳朵，听见过道里有一阵响动，我站起身来，因为我再也无法忍受了。我走到过道，那里有光亮，剧烈的阳光从门外照进来，我看见他就站在外面，站在门边的高草丛里，他的脑袋耷拉着。不一会儿，他坐了下来，好像很疲倦的样子，低头盯着双脚。在屋里，我屏住呼吸，看着他——我不知道自己在干吗。

[10]And I saw what he saw. I saw the changing. In his feet, it was, first. They got long, each foot got longer, stretching out, the toes stretching out and the foot getting long, and fleshy, and white. And no hair on them. The hair begun to come away all over his body. It was like his hair fried away in the sunlight and was gone. He was white all over then, like a worm’s skin. And he turned his face. It was changing while I looked, it got flatter and flatter, the mouth flat and wide, and the teeth grinning flat and dull, and the nose just a knob of flesh with nostril holes, and the ears gone, and the eyes gone blue — blue, with white rims around the blue —staring at me out of that flat, soft, white face.

[10] 我随着他的眼睛望过去，看到了他身上的变化。首先是他的双脚，它们变长了，每只脚都变长了，向外伸着，脚趾外伸，跟着脚掌也变长了，肉乎乎白刹刹的，而且没有毛发。然后，他全身的毛发开始脱落，那情景就像他的毛发在阳光下给煎烤蒸发了一般，他全身上下都变白了，跟蠕虫的皮肤似的。他转过脸，我发现，那张脸也在变，变得越来越扁平，嘴巴又宽又平，露出的牙齿平而钝，鼻子成了有鼻孔的一团肉瘤，耳朵不见了，眼睛成了蓝色——蓝色的周围有白边——那双眼睛嵌在又扁又软又白的脸上，直盯着我。

[11]He stood up then on two legs.

I saw him, I had to see him. My own dear love, turned in the hateful one.

I couldn’t move, but as I crouched there in the passage staring out that day I was trembling and shaking with a growl that burst out into a crazy.

[11] 然后，他站了起来，双腿着地。

我看着他，我不得不看着他，我亲爱的丈夫，竟变成了可憎的怪物！

我整个僵住了，但那天我躲在过道里往外看时，我全身发抖，不停颤栗，发出一声近乎疯狂的嚎叫。

[12]It stared and peered, that thing my husband had turned into, and shoved its face up to the entrance of our house. I was still bound by mortal fear, but behind me the children had waked up, and the baby was whimpering. The mother anger come into me then, and I snarled and crept forward.

[12] 我丈夫变成的那个东西死死地瞪着我，然后将脑袋朝屋门口硬挤过来。我本来还笼罩在死亡般的恐惧中，但我身后的孩子们已经醒了，小宝贝正在哭叫。我的母性愤怒一下子爆发了，我怒吼一声，爬上前去。

[13]The man thing looked around. It had no gun, like the ones from the man places do. But it picked up a heavy fallen tree branch in its long white foot, and shoved the end of that down into our house, at me. I snapped the end of it in my teeth and started to force my way out, because I knew the man would kill our children if it could. But my sister was already coming. I saw her running at the man with her head low and her mane high and her eyes yellow as the winter sun. It turned on her and raised up that branch to hit her. But I come out of the doorway, mad with the mother anger, and the others all were coming answering my call, the whole pack gathering, there in that blind glare and heat of the sun at noon.

[13] 那似人的怪物朝四周看了看。从人类地区来的那些人有枪，而它没有，但它用又长又白的脚捡起一根粗壮的断枝，强行将树枝的一端伸进屋内，对着我。我啪的一声将那树枝咬断，然后开始用力往外冲，因为我知道，如果可能，那怪物会杀掉我们的孩子。不过，我姐姐已经过来了。我看见她埋着头朝那人冲去，她的鬃毛高耸，眼睛黄如冬日太阳。它转过身去攻击她，举起树枝打她。我从门口冲出来，无法抑制母性的愤怒，疯狂呼嚎，左邻右舍全都过来了，我们一大群聚拢一起，在正午那炫目而灼热的阳光下。

[14]The man looked round at us and yelled out loud, and brandished the branch it held. Then it broke and ran, heading for the cleared fields and plowlands, down the mountainside. It ran, on two legs, leaping and weaving, and we followed it.

[14] 那人环视我们，大吼一声，乱舞着手中的树枝。接着，它冲出去，沿着山坡，朝光秃秃的田野和耕地逃去。它两条腿跳跃腾挪，我们在后面紧追不舍。

[15]I was last, because love still bound the anger and the fear in me. I was running when I saw them pull it down. My sister’s teeth were in its throat. I got there and it was dead. The others were drawing back from the kill, because of the taste of the blood, and the smell. The younger ones were cowering and some crying, and my sister rubbed her mouth against her fore legs over and over to get rid of the taste. I went up close because I thought if the thing was dead the spell, the curse must be done, and my husband could come back — alive, or even dead, if I could only see him, my true love, in his true form, beautiful. But only the dead man lay there white and bloody. We drew back and back from it, and turned and ran, back up into the hills, back to the woods of the shadows and the twilight and the blessed dark.

[15] 我跑在最后，因为爱仍在牵制着我内心的愤怒和恐惧。正在奔跑时，我突然看见他们将它扑倒在地，我姐姐的牙齿刺进它的喉咙。等我跑到时，它已经死了。其余正纷纷退离那被杀之人，因为那血的味道，还有那气味。年幼一些的都蜷缩着身子，有些还在哭叫，我姐姐一遍又一遍在前腿上擦拭着嘴巴，想擦去那味道。我走上前去，因为我想，如果那东西死了，那符咒、那诅咒就该了结，然后我的丈夫就会回来了——活着也好，死了也罢，我只想看到他，我的真爱，看到他真实的、俊俏的模样。然而，躺在那里的终究只是个皮肤发白、满身带血的死人。我们一步步退离它，然后转身狂奔，跑回山野，跑回丛林，那里有阴影，有暮光，还有保佑我们的黑暗。